How to deal with Bullying 2021
What is Bullying?
Bullying is when someone is picked on by a person or group. Bullies usually make fun of (or hurt) people who they think don't fit in.
Bullies might make fun of (or hurt) others because of their:
appearance (how someone looks)
behaviour (how someone acts)
social status (whether someone is popular)
sexual identity (like being gay, lesbian, or transgender)
Bullying can come in different types:
Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. This might be shoving, tripping, punching, or hitting. Any form of touching that a person does not want can be bullying and possible sexual assault.
Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone.
Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding people to make them feel bad about themselves.
Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things that they might not say in person. This can include sending mean texts, posting insults about someone on Twitter, or making rude comments on their Instagram pictures. Cyberbullies also might post personal information, pictures, or videos designed to hurt or embarrass someone else.
What are the effects of Bullying?
Victims of bullying might feel
afraid
stressed
depressed
anxious
or they might have
thoughts about suicide or hurting themselves
trouble with their schoolwork/studies
problems with mood, energy level, sleep, and appetite
What you need to know about Bullies
Both guys and girls can be bullies. Bullies may be:
Outgoing and aggressive. This kind of bully might make fun of you to your face or physically hurt you.
Quiet and sneaky. This kind of bully might try to manipulate in secret. They might anonymously start a damaging rumour just to see what happens.
Friendly and fake. This kind of bully might pretend to be your friend so that you tell them things, but then do hurtful things behind your back.
Many bullies are alike because they:
like to be in control of others
are focused on themselves
have poor social skills and have a hard time getting along with people
might not care about others, or lack empathy
are often insecure and bully others to make themselves feel better
Some bullies don't understand normal social emotions like guilt, empathy, compassion, or remorse and they need help from a mental health professional like a social worker, psychiatrist, or psychologist.
What if I am the Bully?
Some people bully to deal with their own feelings of stress, anger, or frustration. Bullies might also have been bullied and now want to show their power by bullying someone else.
If you have bullied someone:
Talk to an adult you trust about why you think this happened. Ask them for some advice on how you could change your behaviour.
Try thinking of how the person being bullied feels. Imagine how you would feel if it was you.
Even though people are different, it's important to treat everyone with respect.
How to deal with Bullying
There are four main steps:
Tell someone you trust and ask for help
Ask the Bully to stop
Ignore it and walk away
Try to look confident
Tell someone
You are unlikely to be able to resolve the bullying yourself, or you would already have done so. Who you tell may depend on who is bullying you, and where? While it is common for bullies to be known to their victims through school/college, this is not the only option. For example, children at one school/college may be bullied on the way to school/college by one or more children from another nearby school/college.
You could tell:
A friend, either of your own age, or an older one, who may have more experience and could advise you. Some schools/colleges run ‘buddy’ schemes, so you might choose to ask your ‘buddy’ for advice
Your parents, who will almost certainly have to know sooner or later. It may be easier to tell them yourself, sooner, rather than wait for them to find out from someone else
A teacher
Another adult, such as a youth leader, school/college counsellor or a friend’s parent.
IMPORTANT!
If the bullying continues after action has been taken to stop it, keep telling people it is happening. If you don’t keep telling them, they won’t know it’s still happening.
Ask the Bully to stop
This second step may be very difficult, especially if you have allowed the bullying to go on for a long time before telling anyone else.
You may, however, be asked by the school/college to have a meeting with the bully.
If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to do so. Consider, though, that it may have a positive effect.
The bully may be unaware of how bad you feel, and it may bring them up short.
Ignore it and walk away
Nobody is suggesting that you should tolerate bullying. It is unpleasant and unacceptable.
However, bullies often say or do things because they want a reaction from their victim. If you’re not bothered by what they say or do, they may well leave you alone and find a more rewarding target.
Unfortunately, they may also escalate their actions in the hope of getting a reaction.
It is important to understand that sometimes, the safest way of managing other people’s behaviour is to be elsewhere.
Try to look confident
Nobody asks to be bullied, of course. But some people may look like easier targets, perhaps because they already look a bit vulnerable.
If you are feeling a bit vulnerable, make sure that you stand up straight, put back your shoulders and stride out confidently.
This will have two effects:
It will make you look more confident, which will make you less likely to become a victim of bullying or any other attack; and
It will, oddly enough, make you feel more confident. The body mirrors the mind, but the mind is also affected by the body.
