Building Positive Relationships 2023

Are your Relationships healthy?

February is often referred to as the “Love Month” with the celebration of Valentine’s day on 14 February.  It is the ideal time for us to reflect on how healthy our relationships are. Relationships fulfill many of our emotional needs such as our need for love, attention, affection, friendship and support. 

Given the importance of our relationships, it’s necessary to learn to develop and maintain them.  

Why are Relationships important?

Interpersonal relationships are important for our overall physical and emotional happiness. Relationships help fight loneliness while also giving you a sense of purpose in life.

For instance, the closeness you feel with family, your kids, friends, and colleagues are an essential part of your social support. Relationships in other aspects of your life outside of romance and family can also have a positive effect on you, such as getting together with acquaintances for a shared interest or hobby.

Healthy relationships are built on loyalty, support, and trust. Close relationships may also be built on love. Mutual respect and reciprocation of these qualities is important in maintaining all your relationships. Otherwise, the relationship can become one-sided.

How to improve your Relationships

Improving your Relationships require knowledge and skills and understanding of the person/s with whom you are in a relationship.

Professional Relationship Counselling can help you navigate the challenges and obtain the necessary skills to improve and maintain healthy relationships. Emphasis is often placed on the following aspects:

·         Honesty and Respect

·         Effective communication

·         Listening skills

·         Assertiveness

·         Positive Conflict resolution

·         Gratitude, Appreciation and Kindness

How to maintain healthy Relationships

Maintaining healthy friendships and other relationships takes work. The first and most important factor is communication. This requires in-person discussions about your feelings.

At some point in the relationship, a conflict will arise. How you deal with it will determine whether the conflict strengthens the relationship or not. Rather than avoid the point of contention, it’s important to talk it through and listen to another point of view.

If something is bothering you at work or school, speak up. If you’re having some issues with a friend, a colleague, a family member, or a loved one, be sure to tell them calmly.

Aside from honesty and open communication, it’s also important to establish boundaries, maintain a positive attitude, and be open to constructive criticism and feedback without letting your emotions take over.

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

When you’re in a toxic relationship, you might not always find it easy to notice the red flags popping up. They are:

·         Lack of support

·         Toxic communication

·         Envy or jealousy

·         Controlling behaviour

·         Resentment

·         Dishonesty

·         Patterns of disrespect

·         Negative financial behaviour

·         Constant stress

·         Ignoring your needs

·         Losing other relationships

·         Lack of self-care

·         Hoping for change

·         Walking on eggshells

Is it possible to fix a toxic relationship?

Many people assume toxic relationships are doomed, but that isn’t always the case. The deciding factors ?

·         Willingness to change negative patterns

·         Willingness to invest in the relationship

·         Shift from blaming to understanding

·         Openness to professional help

How can we move forward in a toxic relationship?

These steps can help you turn things around.

·         Don’t dwell on the past

·         View situations with empathy and compassion

·         Start therapy if you struggle to move past transgressions

·         Practice healthy communication skills /behaviour patterns

·         Be accountable

·         Heal individually

·         Hold space/acknowledge changing behaviour /efforts

·         Find support (friends/family)

The stages of a Relationship

George Levinger identified five stages of our daily relationships, they include:

·         Acquaintance

·         Build-up

·         Continuation

·         Deterioration

·         Ending

A successful relationship will only go through the first three stages. A relationship that ends will go through all five of these stages.

In every stage of a relationship professional counselling will be beneficial to help you improve and maintain healthy relationships.

“True relationships and friendships happen when we accept someone’s past, support their present and encourage their future.” – Unknown

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